So now what?

Ok so I've always wanted to have a baby. I mean I'm 28 soon to be 29, I'm in a meaningful realtionship (whatever that means), I want a baby. Now I have one. So now what? Why do people procreate? Is it in-bred? Is it wired into our DNA? Cause I swear now that I have this baby, I don't know what to do next. I love my son with all my heart, but what makes a mother? It can't be love alone. I suspect it's much more to it than that. But what? I look at this tiny life that is in my hands and I wonder why God listened to me when I said I wanted a child. I mean I cant use my dysfunctional parents as role models. And I've learned that if you try to do everything your parents didn't do, then you still end up making mistakes, just not their mistakes. So join me on this journey as I fumble thru motherhood and life. Hopefully becoming all the better for having done it.