Wednesday, September 22, 2004

What happens when we die?

Ever wonder what happens when you die? If you believe in heaven and hell, the short version is.... if you were good, heaven, if you were bad a little farther south of heaven. But my question is less of a heaven/hell one, and more of a 'will life’s mysteries be solved?' I just had an epiphany right while I was typing. Maybe that is hell. Not having all the who, what, whys and where’s answered. Maybe the not knowing is what hell really is. Of course for those of you going to hell it probably seems better than eternal fire and damnation. But to me that's a horrible notion. I'm one of those people who shake presents before opening them, who starts looking for surprise party clues around my birthday. I search for Christmas presents in closets and under beds, I beg for hints and pout when I don't get them. Needless to say I have an all-consuming need to know everything. So the thought of not knowing why life is the way it is, why things have happened the way they have, is my own personal hell. Another epiphany! Maybe everyone has their own personal hell to contend with when they die. Maybe whatever it is you fear the most in life is what you are faced with in death. Wouldn't that be something? Sort of like that scene in the Witches of Eastwick. Where Jack Nicholson (the devil), conjures up the women’s worse fears and makes them live them. I have so many fears; I think I would die all over again if I had to live mine. Well it's not like it's something I can research, so I guess I won't know until I die. How ironic.

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