Father & Son
I'm at my son's fathers house and I've been watching them play together. It got me to thinking about the importance of fathers. It seems that society doesn't recognize the importance of that role. I'm not even going to get into all the examples that support that statement, maybe another time.
Most of you who grew up in a two-parent home realized at an early age that there were certain things the mother does in the household, that the father didn't do and vice versa. I read somewhere that fatherhood is motherhood without the guilt. I don't know if that is true or not, let me know what you think. What I do know is that when you ask most women and men about their childhoods, most of them can directly link some of their current personality traits, behaviors, and beliefs to things their father did or did not do, said or did not say. All those years ago when I was the child watching my parents day in and day out, it was usually my mother who cooked for us, it was always my mother who took us school shopping, it was always my mother that helped us with our homework, it was always our mother that took us to our doctors appointments, it was always our mother who took care of us. It seemed as if my father was only a very small part of our day to day lives. Yet ironically when I think of my childhood, it is the memories of my father that stand out in my mind. How weird is that? My happiness or lack of was always dependent on how he reacted and interacted with me. It was at those times that I put up the defense mechanisms that I still use to this day, it was at those times that I was most vulnerable. So vulnerable in fact that if someone today echo's anything of my father sometimes I still feel like that little girl way back when. I spent so much time as a child and a young adult trying to gain his approval, gain his love, gain his respect.
Now that I have a son, I can see the relationship between father and child from a different perspective. That's one of the great things about having a child. You can see things more clearly. My son has been blessed with a father who, I think, will try to see him as an individual. He will encourage him but not push him, he will discipline him but not belittle or berate him, he will talk to him not talk at him, he will listen to him, love him, celebrate and cherish him. Because he recognizes the importance a father has in his child's life, even if society doesn't. My little Peanut doesn't know how lucky he is. I do.
Most of you who grew up in a two-parent home realized at an early age that there were certain things the mother does in the household, that the father didn't do and vice versa. I read somewhere that fatherhood is motherhood without the guilt. I don't know if that is true or not, let me know what you think. What I do know is that when you ask most women and men about their childhoods, most of them can directly link some of their current personality traits, behaviors, and beliefs to things their father did or did not do, said or did not say. All those years ago when I was the child watching my parents day in and day out, it was usually my mother who cooked for us, it was always my mother who took us school shopping, it was always my mother that helped us with our homework, it was always our mother that took us to our doctors appointments, it was always our mother who took care of us. It seemed as if my father was only a very small part of our day to day lives. Yet ironically when I think of my childhood, it is the memories of my father that stand out in my mind. How weird is that? My happiness or lack of was always dependent on how he reacted and interacted with me. It was at those times that I put up the defense mechanisms that I still use to this day, it was at those times that I was most vulnerable. So vulnerable in fact that if someone today echo's anything of my father sometimes I still feel like that little girl way back when. I spent so much time as a child and a young adult trying to gain his approval, gain his love, gain his respect.
Now that I have a son, I can see the relationship between father and child from a different perspective. That's one of the great things about having a child. You can see things more clearly. My son has been blessed with a father who, I think, will try to see him as an individual. He will encourage him but not push him, he will discipline him but not belittle or berate him, he will talk to him not talk at him, he will listen to him, love him, celebrate and cherish him. Because he recognizes the importance a father has in his child's life, even if society doesn't. My little Peanut doesn't know how lucky he is. I do.
posted by Meka at 8:53 PM
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