What's going on...

I’ve been so busy I haven’t had a to much time to write or comment so forgive me. Hopefully I can catch everyone up in this post.

First of all Peanut is doing much better. Thanks to all who put him in your prayers and sent me emails. It’s greatly appreciated. My son being sick put a lot of things in perspective for me. He wasn’t on his deathbed or anything but it still made me think of how life can be snatched in a minute. So fast it will make your life spin. My son is my world and if anything ever happened to him, words can’t express how devastated I would be. That’s the joy and the sadness of having a child. I mean I love him so much and he’s been such a blessing to me that my life would be empty without him. On the flipside I constantly worry about his safety and his well-being. I won’t lie… before I had him it was nice not to worry so much about everything.

I told everyone about my friend a little while back. Well I didn’t say much because I wasn’t sure what was going to happen with him. He’s in the military and I wasn’t sure how much longer he was going to be here. Sure enough he got shipped out. He’s in the Navy, stationed in Annapolis. He was supposed to be “on the water” as he called it for a month but low and behold I get a phone call yesterday morning saying he was back. I don’t think I could get used to dating someone in the military. It’s more dangerous now than ever and I couldn’t rest with knowing someone I care about was in danger like that. Plus sometimes you never know when you’re going to leave or how long you’ll be gone. And what’s with all the secrecy? You tell anyone where you’re going. I guess that’s for safety reasons but it’s annoying as hell. I’ve only been dating this guy for a few weeks, imagine being married or in a long-term relationship with someone in the military. It’s got to be very hard. I have a new found respect for all those left behind every day all over the world while there men and women go off to protect their country.
Like I said I got a call yesterday saying he got back Monday night and he would be in Delaware on Tuesday. We made tentative plans for last night. After I got off work I really didn’t feel like going out but he’s about to leave again so I went. We went to TGI Friday’s, which is my favorite restaurant, but it was so late I only ordered dessert. We were gonna go to the movies but we stayed in Fridays so long we missed the last show so we went to the casino. Now here’s where it gets interesting. I knew I wasn’t going to play to much money cause I wasn’t really in the mood to gamble. I put $5.00 in the nickel machines and played it until it was gone. Somehow he and I had gotten separated so I went to look for him cause’ I wasn’t about to play anymore. When I found him he had all these buckets of gold coins. Like 4 of them. I had never saw those coins before so when I asked he informed me that each one was worth a dollar. In the time that it took me to lose 5 bucks he had won over $600. Why can’t I have that kind of luck? It seems like every time I go to the casino, the person I go with wins big and I don’t. I was happy for him though. He wanted to give me half of it but I wouldn’t take it. Money has a way of making people crazy. In situations with a mate, I prefer to have my own and you have your own. Less stress.

This weekend Peanut & I went to Philly. We had a wonderful time with Benjamin and his parents. I love going up there. They are such cool people. Benjamin and I are at a really good place right now. It feels good to not be in so much pain and turmoil all the time. It was just easy and nice to be with him. We went to the Tacony Palmyra flea market in Jersey and I got a car seat for Peanut for $5. I love love love flea markets. Especially when I find good deals like that. The car seat was dirty as hell but we hosed it down and it looked brand new. We just watched TV and played with Peanut for the rest of the weekend.

I turned down both of the job offers I had. I’m still looking but they just didn’t quite fit. Savannah is still a very strong option, just not right now. Something else is opening up at my job so I just want to wait a little while longer to see how it plays out. If what I think is going to happen, happens then I’ll be in Philadelphia before the end of the year. That’s what I really and truly want anyway.

I have more to post but I’m gonna try to do that later I have a meeting to get to.

Uhhhhh...

Nothing much to write about so...

IF YOU COULD BUILD A SECOND HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?
New York

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLES OF CLOTHING?
Do shoes count? If not this pair of really soft boxer shorts I stole from Benjamin.

THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT?
The Roots: Phrenology

WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
6am

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE?
Microwave

IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Piano

FAVORITE COLOR?
Orange

WHICH VEHICLE DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR, Motorcycle, OR SUV?
Car: Chrysler 300

DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE AFTERLIFE?
No

CAN YOU JUGGLE?
No

FAVORITE CHILDREN’S BOOK?
Blubber

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
Fall

IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT?
3: Terrill, Survivor, Meka

IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPERPOWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
The ability to manipulate time

ONE PERSON/PEOPLE FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO:
None

WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED?
Everything that won’t fit into my closet.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE DAY?
Saturday

WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER?
Hamburger

WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM?
I stole it from Kelvin

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER?
Gerbera Daisy

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MEAL?
Fried potatoes and onions

WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY?
December 12

DESCRIBE YOUR PJ’s.?
What PJ’s?

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BREAKFAST?
eggs,sage sausage, & oj

DO YOU LIKE YOUR JOB?
Nope

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM JOB?
Writer

WHAT AGE DO YOU PLAN TO RETIRE?
Who knows

WHERE DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
I’m single right now

BONUS: SOMETHING YOU’D LIKE TO DO THAT YOU’VE NEVER DONE BEFORE?
Skinny dip

Sunny Days

It has been so beautiful outside these last couple of days. I love it. I hope it's going to continue. I love the spring. It's my favorite season next to fall. I can't wait to start doing stuff outside with my son. I bought him a ball and he loves jumping on it and kicking it. It's easier to do it outside not only for him but also for my peace of mind and my furniture. I'm really looking forward to this weekend, it's supposed to be nice and I'm taking a little road trip to NYC. I'm meeting up with a few people I've met online to go shopping and hang out. It should be fun. My new "friend" is coming so I can't act too crazy.

The only downside to this time of year is allergies. They kill me. It seems like allergy season is starting early this year. I usually don't get like this until late May or early June. It's only the beginning of April and I've already started with the itchy, watery eyes and the sneezing and runny nose. My doctor put me on Allegra 3 years ago and I think I've become immune to it. Has anyone else had that problem? It just doesn't seem to work for me anymore. Hopefully when I go for my check-up it he can give me something different.

I guess it's time to go sandal shopping. Any excuse for me to buy new shoes. I love shoes, the higher the heel the better. I'm only 5'1 so I hate wearing flats. I also need a whole new Spring & Summer wardrobe. I'm starting the Mommy & Me swim class at the Y so I need a new suit. I love shopping. I used to shop like I was crazy, but now that I have the Peanut I try to just do one big shopping before every season. I already started his summer shopping and bought him these cute short sets. My friend Mimi is having a baby so I gave a lot of his stuff away and now his dresser and closet look too empty. So now I have to fill it up.

I'm still seriously considering moving to Savannah. If anyone lives there, or close, and can give me some inside info it would be greatly appreciated. I want to cover all my bases before I make a decision this big. I will probably try to make a trip down there in a little while.

Moving out, moving up, moving on...

So many changes are occurring in my life I don't even know where to start. I guess I'll start with the two job offers I’ve received. I haven't posted that much about how unhappy I am at my job but it's really starting to get to me. It seems like all I do all day is deal with people's pissy ass attitudes and do work that I'm not getting paid enough to do. Why does it seem like when you come to work, do your job, do it well, and act professionally; you don’t get any acknowledgement? But people who come to work late, are loud and obnoxious, and don’t do shit seem to get all the credit. I’m getting tired of my supervisor coming to me to do work that he can’t do but I’m getting paid peanuts. I’m tired of people yelling at me across the office, you have a phone call, instead of calling my extension. I’m tired of hearing the nasty ass girl on the other side of the office, belch, and then say “oh Lord, I’ve got bad guts”, everyday. And I kid you not… It’s everyday. I’m tired of the older lady next to me saying I can’t do this and I can’t do that… you’ve been here over a year wtf? Have some work ethic and learn the shit instead of saying you can’t do it. So I started putting in applications went on some interviews and got a couple of job offers. The only downside is I will be making pretty much the same money that I make here. I didn’t want to do a lateral move to another company. One of the offers is at a dialysis facility. I would love that job but I’ve been there and the smell makes me sick to my stomach. The smell of blood is horrible. I struggled thru that whole interview. I wanted to get out of there so bad. My stomach was churning. I’ve been in dialysis facilities before but they were larger. When I went to Oklahoma for the job I have now, several of the meetings we had were in various dialysis facilities. I never smelled the blood. I don’t know if it’s because they were larger and the offices were in the back or if they were cleaner. All I know is I didn’t smell it. But this particular facility is small and that’s all you can smell from the minute you open the door. I don’t know if I could get used to it. The other position is in our Savannah office. I put in for a transfer to Atlanta but all they have are lateral positions. Our Savannah office has a position that is perfect for me. It’s making a whole lot more money and I will be supervising a small amount of employees. I’m seriously considering that position. I’ve wanted to get out of Delaware for a while. There is nothing here for me except my family. I want to raise my son in a place that has opportunities for him to see and learn new things. I want him to be involved in different clubs and activities and around here he’ll just be playing outside or in the house doing nothing. I don’t want that for him. I have a few days to think about what I’m going to do; hopefully I’ll make the right decision.

I guess the next thing would be that I’m seeing someone. That’s actually a huge thing since I never thought I would again. I thought if things didn’t work out with my son’s father I would just give up on the dating thing and not sweat it. I ran into a guy that I used to go to school with, and who I hadn’t seen since. We were really good friends, I really don’t know how we ended up losing touch with each other. We never did anything but I used to sleep in his bed when my roommate had company. We did a little flirting but he had a girlfriend back home and I was just starting to date Terrill. Nothing every materialized but there was a definite attraction. We had a lot in common and would talk almost every day for at least an hour. He introduced me to go-go music. I had never heard of it before that. I’m still hooked to this day. Anyway I ran into him recently, we went out and have been talking everyday since. I’m taking things slow and not really sweating it. His family has a beach house and I stayed there over the weekend and we had a pretty good time. He wants to meet my son but I don’t play that. The only man that needs to be in Peanut’s life right now is his daddy.

I never thought things would be over between my son’s father and I. Anyone who reads this blog knows that. I wanted it to work out for all of our sakes. But like he told me a long time ago some things just don’t work out.

My baby is still sick. I’m starting to get a little angry about it. I don’t like seeing my child suffer and I feel like he’s not getting the best medical care. They keep telling me conflicting things and I’m starting to get pissed. I don’t like to act up but when it comes to my baby I’ll do what I have to. He’s had the same cold for months. It will get a little better than a little worse but he never completely gets over it. I want to be referred to an allergist to find out what he’s allergic to but they keep telling me to wait until he’s two. January is a long time from now, to long to be watching him suffer. I’m just praying they will be able to do something for him now.