just catching up
Not too much has been going on lately. I’ve been preparing to go back to school trying to get my money right. Why is financial aid such an issue? It was in issue when I went in as a freshman and it’s an issue now that I’m working on my Masters. It’s driving me crazy. But the refund check makes up for it doesn’t it? I love a good refund check. I’m going to make sure this isn’t an issue for my son. I’m saving now and investing for him for college. I would like to have at least $80,000 saved by the time he’s ready to go to college. It may not pay for everything, but at least he won’t be in so much debt when he graduates. I think something really needs to be done about the cost of higher education. Your reward for going to school is $400 student loan payments every month. It’s ridiculous.
Things with Benjamin and I are going pretty smoothly. Not too many bumps. I’m actually surprised. I think I was a little afraid to take him seriously when he sent me that poem. I had reservations about his sudden change of heart. I was thinking that maybe the reason he wanted me back was because someone else wanted me. Sometimes men have that ‘I don’t want you, but I don’t want anyone else to have you’, mentality. Which is selfish if you ask me. I was also wondering if it was about sex. I wasn’t giving it up like I normally do. I knew he would never buy the cow if I kept giving up free milk. Occasionally I would slip though. Every now and then my body betrays me. We would be laying in bed together and I would feel him up against me, and those familiar tingles would start running up and down my spine. . . before I knew it we were making love. The sex with us is pretty amazing. He knows what I like and I know what he likes. It was very hard for me not to be with him in that way because I’m very attracted to him. But the free milk thing was getting to me. So I told myself I wasn’t going to go there with him. Since he wasn’t getting it as much as he’s used to, I was wondering if that had anything to do with the sudden turn around. Sex or lack of sex can make you do some crazy things. That’s true for me anyway. My fears about all of that have subsided and I’m on board with this 100%. I want to see if we have a shot at a future together. White picket fence, maybe another son, a dog…. the whole enchilada.
I’m planning to go on a cruise for my 30th birthday in December. I’ve never been on a cruise before so I need suggestions from those of you who have. If you can let me know what cruise line you used and where you went and what you liked/disliked about it. I would really appreciate it. I want to have everything booked and confirmed by the end of October. I’m really excited about doing this. I’m going by myself too. No friends or family to distract me. I want to enter my 30’s with a bang but I also want to do it alone. I want to take some time to reflect on my past and things I’ve been through and when that boat brings me back to shore, I want to have shed all negativity, all doubt, all issues. I want to embrace womanhood and eradicate anyone and anything that doesn’t respect my life and how I want to live it. I’ve always been a people pleaser. I put others needs in front of my own, which is fine… sometimes. But when I do it all the time, it makes me unhappy. I don’t stand up for myself with my family. I can with my friends or my man, but for some reason I don’t with my family. I let them tell me what I should or shouldn’t be doing when it comes to my son. I let them go against my wishes for him. I let them question every decision I make. Every time I say something I want to do either for my son, or myself there is always a ‘why’ offered up. Because I said so that’s why. I know I’m the baby of the family but I’m not a baby. I’ve been on my own since I was 18 and that deserves respect. And they are going to give it to me. Either the easy way or the hard way but nevertheless, I’ll get it. I’m sure it will be hard because everyone is used to me just going along with the flow. Change is always hard, but it’s also always necessary.
So thanks to Schatzi, I found a template at blogskins.com that I liked. I worked on it for like two days to get it the way I wanted it (yes it took that long), and now in every post there is a funny character wherever there was an apostrophe. If there is anyone who can tell me how to fix that I would really appreciate it.
Things with Benjamin and I are going pretty smoothly. Not too many bumps. I’m actually surprised. I think I was a little afraid to take him seriously when he sent me that poem. I had reservations about his sudden change of heart. I was thinking that maybe the reason he wanted me back was because someone else wanted me. Sometimes men have that ‘I don’t want you, but I don’t want anyone else to have you’, mentality. Which is selfish if you ask me. I was also wondering if it was about sex. I wasn’t giving it up like I normally do. I knew he would never buy the cow if I kept giving up free milk. Occasionally I would slip though. Every now and then my body betrays me. We would be laying in bed together and I would feel him up against me, and those familiar tingles would start running up and down my spine. . . before I knew it we were making love. The sex with us is pretty amazing. He knows what I like and I know what he likes. It was very hard for me not to be with him in that way because I’m very attracted to him. But the free milk thing was getting to me. So I told myself I wasn’t going to go there with him. Since he wasn’t getting it as much as he’s used to, I was wondering if that had anything to do with the sudden turn around. Sex or lack of sex can make you do some crazy things. That’s true for me anyway. My fears about all of that have subsided and I’m on board with this 100%. I want to see if we have a shot at a future together. White picket fence, maybe another son, a dog…. the whole enchilada.
I’m planning to go on a cruise for my 30th birthday in December. I’ve never been on a cruise before so I need suggestions from those of you who have. If you can let me know what cruise line you used and where you went and what you liked/disliked about it. I would really appreciate it. I want to have everything booked and confirmed by the end of October. I’m really excited about doing this. I’m going by myself too. No friends or family to distract me. I want to enter my 30’s with a bang but I also want to do it alone. I want to take some time to reflect on my past and things I’ve been through and when that boat brings me back to shore, I want to have shed all negativity, all doubt, all issues. I want to embrace womanhood and eradicate anyone and anything that doesn’t respect my life and how I want to live it. I’ve always been a people pleaser. I put others needs in front of my own, which is fine… sometimes. But when I do it all the time, it makes me unhappy. I don’t stand up for myself with my family. I can with my friends or my man, but for some reason I don’t with my family. I let them tell me what I should or shouldn’t be doing when it comes to my son. I let them go against my wishes for him. I let them question every decision I make. Every time I say something I want to do either for my son, or myself there is always a ‘why’ offered up. Because I said so that’s why. I know I’m the baby of the family but I’m not a baby. I’ve been on my own since I was 18 and that deserves respect. And they are going to give it to me. Either the easy way or the hard way but nevertheless, I’ll get it. I’m sure it will be hard because everyone is used to me just going along with the flow. Change is always hard, but it’s also always necessary.
So thanks to Schatzi, I found a template at blogskins.com that I liked. I worked on it for like two days to get it the way I wanted it (yes it took that long), and now in every post there is a funny character wherever there was an apostrophe. If there is anyone who can tell me how to fix that I would really appreciate it.
posted by Meka at 8:55 AM
9 Comments:
I like the new layout!! I'm not sure how to get rid of the glitch.. Hmm.. ??
I think that you taking a cruise by yourself is a wonderful idea!! Everyone needs some time alone to put things in order! Good luck!
I love the blog template for real! I think I am gonna head over to blogskins myself and check it out.
As for your birthday---are you a virgo?? Cuz I swear I am the same way. I was supposed to go on a cruise in November with my SO but due to unforeseen things we didn’t get a chance. I am so ready to go by myself tho….but that’s great girl you owe it to yourself and your sanity and just ringing in a new portion of your life with confidence and claiming that for yourself. Go girl!
Hello...as everyone else said, I'm loving the template. Kudos on the smooth sailing so far with Mr. Benjamin. I think the cruise is a great idea. I'm planning a solo trip for whenever I graduate from somebody's university. Glad to see all is well with ya and I look forward to chatting again :-)
Just passing through. Like the post . I'll be paying you a visit soon
Thanks for dropping by, feel free to come by anytime. While I am still reading your blog, I want to encourage you and your guy friend. It is hard to come by a good man these days(read: Even Zack had his flaws)
P.S.
You will get that white picket fence one day!
loving the template. very inviting. wish i could find one i like. whenever i find one, it has no comments and i don't know how to add stuff like that...good luck with that lil glitch.
I see I've found yet another favorite blog to bookmark. I will definitely be back and hope all goes well with your situation. All guys don't suck. We have our quirks and kinks and dents, but some of us really are decent people once you get to know us without the contrived formalities and convoluted expectations. word.
Thank you to everyone who took the time to comment.
Liza - I can give you the code to add comments to any template you pick. This one didn't have comments either, I had to figure out how to add that feature.
i love the new blog skin! it's so pretty, though id on't really like pinkish colors, but it's pretty...i hate that men act that way, they want you,b ut they dont...ugh that makes me sick!
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