Papa was a rolling stone
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. Hope this day brings you passion, romance, and love!
I really didn’t do anything this weekend but clean my house and separate my laundry so I can do it on Wednesday. I finally took the DVD player I got for Christmas back to Target. It’s been acting up since day one but I kept forgetting to take it back. So finally I did. I get the new one home, set it up and it starts acting up just like the old one. My brand new Murphy Brown DVD is stuck in it as we speak. Now I have to go to Target and show my ass cause’ I know they are going to try to make me get another of the same one but I’m not having it. What’s the chance that only two of that brand is defective? I’d be willing to bet they are all crap.
I’m sitting here at work happily typing my post and in walks the florist. I think to myself “so it begins” but low and behold… the delivery is for me. I’m so happy right now my face hurts from smiling so much. He can be so amazing when he wants to be. I’m gonna give him something he can feel when I see him this weekend, best believe it!
I talked to my friend last night for about two hours. She and her husband are separating. They've been married for 6 years but together for 11. She said they had been arguing a lot over the past few weeks about finances, the kids, him going out all night and not calling etc... Saturday he came home after being out all night Friday, packed a bag, told her he "was out" and left. She hasn't heard from him since. Her situation got me to thinking about what it's like to be a man or at the very least what goes thru a man’s mind in a situation like this.
Now I feel there are things that shouldn’t be tolerated in a relationship. Period. For me they’re abuse or disrespect of any kind, continuous infidelity, and lack of communication. I could probably think of more but those are some of the big ones. But I’ve been a witness to their relationship and those things weren’t a factor. Things only started getting bad a few weeks ago when he was laid off. He decided he wasn’t going to look for a job and just sit on his ass all day and party all night. Their finances started declining and the arguments started and then bam! he’s gone. How do you just walk away from someone you've been with over a decade without so much as a tear, an explanation, or some hesitation? I've been the woman who was walked away from, and I’ve been the woman who walked away. The difference is, when I walked away, I honored what we had and I honored the reasons we were together in the first place. I've been that woman calling my girlfriends to see if maybe they could shed some light on what I might not be seeing because of my pain and I've been the one to go over in my head what possibly could have caused him to walk out. To me that’s disrespect. Have the common courtesy to tell me why you left. Don’t just assume I know. Don’t just assume that a few arguments would have been clues to foretell your leaving me. Why does it seem like some men can walk away from their women, from their children, from their homes seemingly without so much as a second thought?
I mean I understand that sometimes relationships just don't work out. Some things just aren't meant to be. I also know that women are not the easiest people to deal with. But why does it seem like it’s easier for the man to walk away than the woman? I'm a pretty independent person. I can be alone. Sometimes I prefer it. I'm not a woman has to have a man, and I'm not a woman who doesn't want a man either. I fall right in between. I think the right man can be complimentary to my life. But I want a man who is just as tied to me as I am to him. I don't mean rolling around on the floor begging 'please baby don't go', but I want someone who is just as committed to our relationship as I am. Someone who feels he has just as much to lose if he walks away from me as I do if I walk away from him. Is it that men feel what we feel but are to ashamed to admit it? Is it easier for them to walk away than drop their pride or is it simply that they don’t care as much, they don’t invest as much? Let me know what you think.
About the book club, I figured I would start a new blog under this one and use that to discuss our books. I'm gonna start working on that today or tomorrow. If anyone has a suggestion for naming the new blog let me know. Also we need to come up with the first book.
I really didn’t do anything this weekend but clean my house and separate my laundry so I can do it on Wednesday. I finally took the DVD player I got for Christmas back to Target. It’s been acting up since day one but I kept forgetting to take it back. So finally I did. I get the new one home, set it up and it starts acting up just like the old one. My brand new Murphy Brown DVD is stuck in it as we speak. Now I have to go to Target and show my ass cause’ I know they are going to try to make me get another of the same one but I’m not having it. What’s the chance that only two of that brand is defective? I’d be willing to bet they are all crap.
I’m sitting here at work happily typing my post and in walks the florist. I think to myself “so it begins” but low and behold… the delivery is for me. I’m so happy right now my face hurts from smiling so much. He can be so amazing when he wants to be. I’m gonna give him something he can feel when I see him this weekend, best believe it!
I talked to my friend last night for about two hours. She and her husband are separating. They've been married for 6 years but together for 11. She said they had been arguing a lot over the past few weeks about finances, the kids, him going out all night and not calling etc... Saturday he came home after being out all night Friday, packed a bag, told her he "was out" and left. She hasn't heard from him since. Her situation got me to thinking about what it's like to be a man or at the very least what goes thru a man’s mind in a situation like this.
Now I feel there are things that shouldn’t be tolerated in a relationship. Period. For me they’re abuse or disrespect of any kind, continuous infidelity, and lack of communication. I could probably think of more but those are some of the big ones. But I’ve been a witness to their relationship and those things weren’t a factor. Things only started getting bad a few weeks ago when he was laid off. He decided he wasn’t going to look for a job and just sit on his ass all day and party all night. Their finances started declining and the arguments started and then bam! he’s gone. How do you just walk away from someone you've been with over a decade without so much as a tear, an explanation, or some hesitation? I've been the woman who was walked away from, and I’ve been the woman who walked away. The difference is, when I walked away, I honored what we had and I honored the reasons we were together in the first place. I've been that woman calling my girlfriends to see if maybe they could shed some light on what I might not be seeing because of my pain and I've been the one to go over in my head what possibly could have caused him to walk out. To me that’s disrespect. Have the common courtesy to tell me why you left. Don’t just assume I know. Don’t just assume that a few arguments would have been clues to foretell your leaving me. Why does it seem like some men can walk away from their women, from their children, from their homes seemingly without so much as a second thought?
I mean I understand that sometimes relationships just don't work out. Some things just aren't meant to be. I also know that women are not the easiest people to deal with. But why does it seem like it’s easier for the man to walk away than the woman? I'm a pretty independent person. I can be alone. Sometimes I prefer it. I'm not a woman has to have a man, and I'm not a woman who doesn't want a man either. I fall right in between. I think the right man can be complimentary to my life. But I want a man who is just as tied to me as I am to him. I don't mean rolling around on the floor begging 'please baby don't go', but I want someone who is just as committed to our relationship as I am. Someone who feels he has just as much to lose if he walks away from me as I do if I walk away from him. Is it that men feel what we feel but are to ashamed to admit it? Is it easier for them to walk away than drop their pride or is it simply that they don’t care as much, they don’t invest as much? Let me know what you think.
About the book club, I figured I would start a new blog under this one and use that to discuss our books. I'm gonna start working on that today or tomorrow. If anyone has a suggestion for naming the new blog let me know. Also we need to come up with the first book.
posted by Meka at 11:39 AM
1 Comments:
How about that Valentine's day surprise huh? Bet'cha didn't see that one coming (smile)
Tough break about your friend luv. I always hate hearing about another marriage hitting that not-so-elusive speedbump. For every individual, you'll probably get an encyclopedia's book worth of the "why" he did what he did. And truthfully speaking, even with the best speculation, only he can answer that.
Speaking for myself, men DO feel what women feel. I definitely do, but some will say no. I was raised with 5 women in the household growing up. I got an up in the front row view of the problems that women went through from watching what went down with my sisters, grandmother and even Mom. And when you see that, as a man, you NEVER want to be the man that's inflicting pain on someone's sister, mother, or female friend when you get older. So maybe I'm a little more in touch with my feelings than the average Alpha Male. Can you say "sensitivity issues?" :)
But seriously speaking, yes, some men are ashamed to admit it. Admitting their "feelings" has always been a "weakness" for men.
It conjures up images of being soft or being less manly. It's a classic misconception that women think that most men don't care as much. Don't be fooled. Men do. They just have other methods of (trying to) concealing their feelings. Hanging out with the boys, drinking, partying, sports watching, all can be a getaway haven away from having to deal with the tribulations in their relationships.
These things serve as an escape. But it's only temporary. But once all of that is not around, when all that's left is that woman that he left behind to toil with his absence, is the lone thing remaining, it's going to be on. Nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide. Now, comes the hard part. Dealing with it. I think that guy will be back. He's going through some things right now, but he will return. A wife and kids at home, he'd better do the right thing. Good post dear.
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